Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct

P.M. Forni
Most people would agree that thoughtful behavior and common decency are in short supply, or simply forgotten in hurried lives of emails, cellphones, and multi-tasking. In Choosing Civility, P. M. Forni identifies the twenty-five rules that are most essential in connecting effectively and happily with others. In clear, witty, and, well...civilized language, Forni covers topics that include: * Think Twice Before Asking Favors* Give Constructive Criticism* Refrain from Idle Complaints* Respect Others' Opinions* Don't Shift Responsibility and Blame* Care for Your Guests * Accept and Give PraiseFinally, Forni provides examples of how to put each rule into practice and so make life-and the lives of others-more enjoyable, companionable, and rewarding.Choosing Civility is a simple, practical, perfectly measured, and quietly magical handbook on the lost art of civility and compassion.


Reviewed: 2020-05-27
1. The three parts of this book didn't fit together very well. Sure, they were all about civility, but the first was a very extended introduction to the concept of civility, the second was the promised 25 rules of considerate conduct, and the third was a series of short essays, perhaps things that hadn't made it into the rules but that the author couldn't let go of when publishing the book. All related, but they didn't form a coherent whole.

2. Some of the admonishments in the rules of considerate conduct explicitly condtradicted each other. For example, we're supposed to always respect another person's direct or subtle "no" without question (rule 9), but we are not to say no ourselves (rule 12: be agreeable), except, apparently, when it gives us a sense of autonomy (rule 17: assert yourself).

3. If I were to retitle this book, I'd call it "Civility: A Guide for White Western Men."
Reviewed: 2012-08-13
This is the First Year Reading Book for our campus and one of the required textbooks for a course I'm teaching.

This book as has some great ideas, but it is really tedious to read. I struggled to finish the book all summer and finally made it through. Its slow in the first part and feels like it takes forever to get to the "good" stuff. I don't think my students fared much better with it either, but hopefully the supplemental assignments will make up for that.

This book has a lot of common sense for some ( not all) but offers some good ideas and a good starting point for truly thinking about our actions and the affects they may/can have on others.
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